Battleboards HQ

In the beginning, there was tabletop wargaming, and the populace became enlightened. But soon they found that this miracle was far from perfect. The minions of mankind had no decent terrain upon which their epic battles could be fought. Though man sought in vain to build many earthly attempts at battlefields, they found their efforts still to be lacking in having what it took to complete the miracle. God above saw this, and He was saddened by the desperate measures that mankind took, and thus He decreed that man should suffer no longer. And from this divine intervention was Battleboards created, and the Major was sent down from on high to guide man in his struggle to comprehend the celestial offering. Battleboards was born.

The Major received a vision from the Almighty, instructing him in the ways of being a true designer and creator of wargaming terrain. Unfortunately, the vision did not include a step-by-step guide into making the perfect board and huge sums of wealth with which to create them with earthly means. Therefore the Major, in his ultimate scheme, begged his wife, Battleaxe the Dwarf (The Oracle), to assist him in the mental and financial arenas that are life and work. Yet still, this was not enough to fulfil the Major’s quest. And thus, two months, two weeks three days, and his body weight in beer and loose women, the Major convinced his firstborn son The Prophet, to provide caffeinated beverages, the occasional cookie, and hailing the cries of mankind, (answering e-mails, writing of blog, etc.)

Others who were recruited to join the Major in his undertaking were Pedantic the Skinny, whose ability to sit upon his backside and do bugger-all astounded even God above, but he is still a dab-hand with a paintbrush. Then there is the official Battleboards Dogs, Slasher and Slayer (aka, Holly and Poppy), who guard the Battleboards bunker with life and limb and the gnashing of pointy teeth (although if you happen to have the odd treat in your pocket, they’ll be bloody useless!)

HQ

The Major (Rich): Creator of boards, accessories and concepts, intermediary to the Divine

The Prophet (Chris): Administrator, Web stuff, Blogger, Coffee-Maker, Etc. Etc.

Battleaxe the Oracle Dwarf (Amy): Hoarder of Wealth (accountant), Messenger, Merchant, Bringer of Food (cook).

Pedantic the Skinny (Ben): Use Questionable…

Slasher (Holly): Nutcase, Conniving Mutt, Good-For-Licking-Stamps.

Slayer (Poppy ): Cute, Wimpy, Fuzz Ball, Supersonic Bark, (Has an irrational hatred of small white poodle-like dogs.)

Biography: The Major

The entity known to mankind as ‘The Major’ was not born of the earth. Many theories exist as to his origins. Mankind generally accepts that he is an intermediary to the will of the Divine, to instruct them on the best in wargaming terrain. His wife, Battleaxe (who was born of the earth) agrees that he is ‘a bit special’… But whatever his accurate origins, of which no man can ever be sure, the fact remains that any and all things related to Battleboards© originate with him, and that almost anything about wargaming in general will involve him.

His first acts on the mortal coil was based in the production of nodding Santas, and was misdirected from his primary duties by the Fat Man himself, and his little helpers. While meant in the kindest of spirits, this did not sit well with the Major, and he soon moved on to higher pastures. After this, he began the practice of designing more life-sized terrain for actual people, yet this was good practice for his eventual true position. He ran his own business with his discovered wife and gathered a new following. The first, The Prophet, would go on to be a key figure in interpreting the true will of the Major for mortal kind to comprehend. The second, Skinny, who… well, they couldn’t just do away with him in a legal fashion.

From this grouping formed the concept, and finally, the reality that is Battleboards©, and thus the Major today fulfils his set task of spreading enlightenment and quality wargaming environments for enthusiastic mortals who had called for his existence.